Random Wednesday

* it's HOT as Haites 

* while unloading hay at sheep breeders a bird sh*t on me 

* while unhaltering ewes at said breeder the ram was mounting one of the ewes and was very " happy" to see them

* did I mention its HOT ?

* me backing up a 24' gooseneck trailer in small areas is a joke :/

* I did backup and park said trailer within inches of where S had it parked when I returned home!

* who needs a man anyway :-) 

* I am NOT cooking supper , it's HOT 

Happy Cattle

The cattle have been lucky enough to eat pasture until now this summer. With the cooler temperatures and excessive rain the grass has prospered. There's nothing like good ole fashioned grass fed cattle. But now it's time for a few weeks hopefully of sweet corn feedings. That makes for some happy cattle. They chased S as he pulled the wagon into their lot. It's a sure sign fall is coming. The crops are heading down the other side of production. Bring on the hoody weather!

2nd

 

It has begun....

Today was LN's 1st fall soccer tournament.

Her travel team finished second by points.

They scored more goals but lost a game 2-1 so lost on the point system used.

It was the 1st time this new team played competitively and with their new coach.

It went well and LN scored a goal.

She primarily played left back in defense only moving to offense when the team was up by 4 goals.

Beautiful weather today as well.

Fall is coming slowly but surely!

Visitor, etc

LN was not pleased with our unexpected visitor yesterday.

 

I was ok but wondering why it was visiting at 6 pm with the sun still out?

Didn't appear sick or crazy acting, just scared.

S didn't touch it just used towel and net to relocate it.

Don't look at my old as the hills kitchen.

Yes that's 60's paneling, chipped painted cabinets and jacked up plaster ceiling I took the acoustic tiles down from 5 years ago and stalled with removing the plaster.

In other news this is what happens after fair entries are stripped.

A pile of ribbons (we use the dutch system in the 4-H building) to dispose of and 12 yards of wool fabric S bought for $2.00 at an auction.

Hmmm what to do with it?

And as always a dignified picture of LN, who just turned 14 and her BFF who is adorable and just turned 8 yrs young, doing community service at the local peach festival.

They are so serious.

 

 



just cause

 

 

Not going anywhere just saying...

though tit was funny

Radar

Radar shows the storm sitting right over us for several hours.

Nada here...

The air is cool and clear.

Oh well can't be right all the time Weather Channel.

I'll take a nice Sunday.

A few hours...

Yesterday was such a good day.

A few hours later and today bites a big one as they say.

I feel like a complete failure as a Mom.

I lost it bad on LN this morning.

She woke up saying her stomach hurt and she felt like vomiting or passing out.

She was just panicking and having anxiety over 2nd day of field hockey tryouts.

I know she didn't sleep well because of them the last 2 nights she told me.

She said yesterday that the 1st day went great, she was happy with her performance, she was excited for day 2.

WTH and WTF (forgive me)

She woke up in tears and choking sobs.

I lost it I admit.

I tried to be sweet and ask her to describe her feelings.

I got her a cold washcloth to calm her down and wipe her tears way.

I walked away.

I stayed home for the 2nd day in a row from gym for her.

I packed her lunch.

I cajoled.

I talked.

I begged.

I pleaded.

I lost it... I got a belt

I did not use it but I so wanted to.

She finally upon threat got ready and I took her to tryouts.

She knew she was just upset.

She's only 14.

That's a kid still.

O M G

I sucked today as a parent.

I failed.

I'm still 5 hours later upset.

I wanna throw up now.

I'm not posting for comments or sympathy.

I know what happened, why and how.

I just needed to vent.

I swear I'm losing my mind.

 



14

My lil girl is 14 today. 

She celebrated by trying out for her high school field hockey team for 6 hours. 

She requested tacos and chocolate mayonnaise cake for her meal.

I obliged.

She makes me proud of being her Mama. 

 Happy Birthday LN !!!

Bull

I am defiantly a bull in a china shop kind of person. I suck at being sympathetic.  I do not know how to be all nice to someone when they are down . I tell it like it is and apparently that s the wrong thing to do. I'm working on it. Maybe I ll get it right someday. Maybe I ll move far away from people so I don't have to deal with my flaws. That's a cop out but it drains me, the social graces I lack. There must be a name for the "in your face" type personality I have. Oops, I passed that gene to all 3 of my biological angels too. Lord help them all!

I'm Trying...

I'm trying to follow the adage of...

"if you don't have anything good to say then say nothing"

Do you know how hard that is?

Especially for a sarcastic realistic type of person it's excruciatingly painful.

I am trying though hence the not posting much lately.

I've been in a funk, disappointed in life in general and mine specifically.

I feel trapped by circumstances.

I'll get through it without murdering anyone I hope.

But some days, I swear....

Lord give me strength.

 

 

Life is progressing since fair.

LN is getting ready for 9th grade and field hockey tryouts which begin on her birthday.

I have a cake to bake for her and presents to present.

She'll be 14.

My baby is no baby.

I'm very proud of who she is becoming despite her parents.

She did inherit some of my worst traits.

 

I do not like to be touched.

All 3 of my young'uns inherited this issue.

It is a source of much distress but I have mostly overcome it.

Z and LN have definitely not and R is on the bubble.

She also has my temper.

She's doomed there.

Mine just gets worse as I age.

 

It's life , I know that drives it up.

I'm working on it mentally.

It's a battle.