Oh well...

I am a bad blogger.

I am just not up to posting doom and gloom.

I have been reading everyone's' blogs and they give me angst and hope.

Some make me smile, some make me sad with constant negativity.

The ones that make me go hmmm.... always start out as...

"Although I am not one to judge" or "Not that it matters to me"

These posts remind me to not post if I can't be positive in general.

I know everyone has a bad day and needs to vent but not every time they post.

I have been deleting social media "friends" and followers as well as negative based blogs.

If I am going to stay upbeat I need like minded people. 

I am trying.

On the home front I am still plugging away.

Freedom is eminent although not scheduled.

The business is sold although not completely paid for.

The job is secure and going well so far.

The sheep are the stumbling block.

I really would like to maintain the genetics LN and I have climbed to.

I am culling but not ready to completely sell them all.

One stubborn ewe still needs to deliver but should in the next day or two.

Where to "board" them is an issue until I can find permanence.

Packing and purging are stalled out.

I fell on the ice a few weeks back and my back is a work in progress.

The week or so before that my right leg started hurting behind the knee area.

That is also progressing.

Some good days some bad.

Time is flying so time to tough it out.

Santa's helper sews a bit....

 When I am creative it's very soothing.

I saw this block for a Star of David quilt in an old magazine when I was sorted my sewing room out.

I attempted a block and finished it as a candle mat/ mug rug/ small table topper thingy.

I love the back as much as the front.

Blogger is randomly loading my pictures order so here ya go.

The block is straight although my picture doesn't reflect that symmetry.

A new set of pj's for the princess child.

Cats and unicorns are her hot things right now.

This fabric fit right in.

Her Momma wishes she was all pink and girly so I wasn't sure about the gray color.

Adding the pink stripes helped keep them within the feminine side.

Sewing blind about fit is always nerve wracking but it'll do.

If I need to alter them later I will.

Loads more I wish I had time for but alas I do not.

After 6 months...

 

After 6 months the hens are finally making themselves useful.

I have never had a double yoker from a first timer either.

Its the little things in life...

Memories

 Before it all went to hell in a handbasket...

I love this basket of happiness.

What to say?

No clue what to say anymore. 

I am still kicking.

Finishing up my Mom n laws house and furnishings.

So sad to see it all get lumped in the truck headed to auction.

S just doesn't care about any of it.

I think his Mom would be very disappointed but it is what it is.

House is on the market with an offer "as is".

Younger girl wants it but she wants FHA loan with an "As Is" house.

I'm told the 2 do not marry well.

Fingers crossed but if not others are waiting in the wings.

Sheep still here and breeding for new year lambs.

This ewe is a hot mess.

She found the cockleburs and proceeded to make one dreadlock out of a handful.

Each time she lets me I untangle another lock.

Shearing time is upon me so it will come off to regrow.

I feel like I'm in a holding pattern.

Our business is verbally sold as of end of year to a local Amish man.

Been in operation since 1968 at this address.

It will be a relief but will bring about big changes also.

If God only gives you as much as you can handle I must be SuperWoman.

I certainly do not feel I am.

Today is the 13th anniversary of the wreck that changed my 2 daughters and myself's lives.

Drunk driver slammed head on doing 60 mph.

The ensuing medical nightmare for all 3 of us was not the worst part.

The mental and personality changes of my babies was and is permanently horrible.

I remember what they were but can't return them to that happiness.

I have ordered seed for next years garden just in case there is a shortage.

Nothing crazy, just regular vegetable seeds.

Easy to store a handful.

I also ordered 2 more blueberry bushes.

My 3 although producing seem to not be as hardy as other years.

Again hedging my bets here.

If I have to move away they will still make someone happy.  

Much mowing is occurring to knock weeds down in my pastures before winer.

The garden that went to seed with weeds as tall as myself is being tackled.

I am hand pulling the whole thing.

Good hand therapy for my shattered arm/hand.

I bought the gypsum pellets and dycon radishes I'm told with loosen the soil for me. 

Time will tell on this as well.

Trying to keep chin up and temper down.

The last is a fete for me lately.

It has been a hot minute...

Over a month since posting and alot of changes.

Some post-able , some not...

My arm is on the mend from my fall in June and subsequent surgery.

Progress is slow, mobility is the issue.

I can not turn my arm over at the wrist if that makes sense.

Hold your arm against your side and turn your arm up and over.

I can not at this moment.

I will ....

I am just mean and stubborn enough to keep at it.

I couldn't make a fist end of July when casting came off and can now.

Everything cost so much and with no insurance I am foregoing professional therapy.

I made an initial visit and received home instructions.

Prayer hands is coming along also which was a no go at first.

Slow and steady...I was told I am the tortoise not the hare in this race.

That is fine.

The words..."you are a person of a certain age" just infuriates me.

Watch this...

In other news since it is 2020 and all...
LN has flown the coop.
She has moved to CO with her boyfriend for this school year.
Since she is remote schooling her senior year of college she is ok to finish on time.
Her boyfriend wanted to try working in his major field {Chemistry}.
He deferred his school year and is working for a company near Denver.
She only gave me a week or 10 days notice.
Packed up and trekked across the country to try out another part of the country.
To say I was devastated is a vast understatement.
I couldn't clip her wings though so off she flew.
It has been a struggle emotionally, physically and mentally.
So far 2020 sucks from my perspective.

My husband wants to close our business and basically split up by the end of the year
leaving me with no home or income.
In Delaware inheritable assets can not be disputed in 50/50 divorce.
Words escape me.
So now this 57 yr old lady is job hunting and trying to plan out my future.
Resumes and job searching after 30 years of being self employed with non transferable job skills
is a new challenge to be met and conquered.
It has been a year for sure with more to go.
Self confidence and worth is gone but I am searching diligently.

Sheep are still here and being bred.
Decisions about them staying are up in the air right now so I am proceeding as usual.

Putting all this down in words is not for sympathy.
It is as a record to be looked back on when I overcome.

2020 is a hot mess....

On thursday I slipped on our wet loading dock.

Fell 3-4 ft onto soft ground on my left forearm.

In 2007 I had 2 plates and a ton of screws put in that forearm after a wreck.

There was 1 1/2" of space between my wrist and the plates.

I broke both bones, snapped prev. plate off and bent the other plate.

Covid 19 was a new experience in the ER and the resulting surgery.

I know have new plates and screws I think.

That was the plan the surgeon discussed prior to knocking me out.

With noone allowed to enter hospital with me and my surgery ending at midnight I never finalized the actual diagnosis after he opened up my mess of an arm.

In 10-14 days I guess I will get the specifics.

For now I am carrying a cider block around in my sling.

I am not sleeping, eating much or happy .

This too shall pass just not soon enough for my liking.

Sad Sidenote...

The day before my 79 yr old Dad had another stroke.

I found out in the hospital ER the next day.

He has a blood clot on his heart and one on his lungs.

Those are a result of a fall the previous week or so when he bruised his heart falling and his pace maker/defibrillator slammed into his chest.

He is now in a nursing home/rehab center to recuperate.

I think it is a death sentence considering the virus.

He is dazed and confused and my heart is broken.

He hung my moon and whole universe.

I am mourning him while he breaths but lost him a long time ago.

After a good day...

comes the sad part at the end.

I drove to western Pennsylvania to pick up my last ram Tuesday. 

I pulled out at 6:30am and returned by 3:45pm.

Much quicker than if Covid 19 wasn't a factor.

I breezed past and through Baltimore on 695 with no issues.

I do not think I even tapped my breaks till past that area.

This was the view as I left there long lane.

Commercial sheep lazing in the beautiful spring like coolness.

The view back up their lane.

It was over 1/2 mi long at least.

The barns and house are over the ridge out of sight a couple hundred yards.

This picture doesnt begin to show how high up the hill is leading up there either.

Gosh I miss the hills and mountains.

This flat land crap in DE doesn't compare.

Someday...

Today I dodged a stupid, pointless protest to go to post office and road paving to go to the bank.

On the way home I didn't dodge the irrigation pivot that was not suppose to spray the road.

I took full advantage to clean my windshield and truck.

I sat for a full 5 min under the spray.

When I went home I called the farm office and reported it.

I said ," Your irrigation pivot isn't turning off on ******** road, I don't mind as you washed my truck but the yuppies in the developments will probably complain."

She replied, " They have already complained their cars are getting sprayed with those chemicals we are spraying".

We both laughed and said goodbye.

No matter how you try to inform the public they just refuse to believe it's water.

My neighbor calls me to ask what poison is being sprayed every flipping time the pivot turns on.

I have answered it's water so often now I just say "oh it's a toxic one".

SMH as they say...

The sad end to my Tuesday was arriving home with our new ram to find our homegrown yearling ram Jack dead in the field.

It seems he had a heart attack.

No reason or rhyme to it but incredibly sad.

Having assisted in his birth and raised him for 1 1/2 years I was attached.

He was a gentle giant.

Not a "mean ram" bone in him to this point.

I put his picture with his twin as my header photo.

He was a few weeks old in that picture.

It was a horrible way to end the good day.

Let's see what's going on...

It'll be breeding season soon.

This is the year LN  & I needed new rams.

 This Lincoln Longwool hails from Illinois and is now a resident of Delaware.

I am sure our humidity and heat were a shock to him.

This picture is a horrible angle also.

He is a powerhouse in size. and has great wool.

Just goes to show certain camera angles are everything for slimming.

His name is George, he and Jack our other Lincoln ram are getting along surprisingly well.

Fingers crossed it continues this week when we bring a Border ram home.

Hopefully those 3 will be friends or at least tolerate of each other.

 

This is my pathetic first pea harvest.

There is more but not much although the few I have taste good.

Oh well, I knew I had compacted soil issues so it's time to work on them.

S's idiotic horse compacted the ground and it is a struggle to work it up like it needs.

I was given ideas from a crop analyst so I will be on it.

I need to not lose my cool (famous last words) this year and prepare better this fall.

I do have teeny, tiny yellow squash growing.

Fingers crossed ...

There is a zucchini growing also.

Why is it the things I could care less about grow and the things I love do not?

I am a little tore up on my legs.

The fence shown had a giant honeysuckle/blackberry/rosehedge mess that I tackled.

Still some larger cherry trees growing but I was beat in the 90* heat.

Rain is due this week a few days.

I mowed off the seed heads in 2 pastures hoping the rain will keep everything growing.

Summertimes fries the grasses in these 2 lots but I'm hoping the undergrowth will thrive with rain.

Saw 2 giant black snakes in the field.

Not cool, they know to stay hidden from me.

I do not like surprises.

This lil miss is loving her new/old pool when I watch her.

Z and R2 are buying R2's grandmom's house which has a 60 yr old 12 ft deep concrete pool.

They are rehabbing it and hoping their repairs hold.

Grandma (me) even swims with Miss A and I am teaching her to swim.
She's getting it pretty well.

Grrr worthless...

animal!

S's horse broke fence around the garden and wrecked havoc.

He ate all the lettuce off at the ground.

12 full ready to harvest heads.

It's the middle row you see above.

That was a week or so ago.

Happily they are trying to resurge.

Maybe I will get a decent salad before they bolt in the hot weather.

He trampled plants, ate plants and spread straw I use as mulch everywhere.

The electric is popping hard now.

His a*s is getting lit if he tries again.

No sympathy felt for him either.

He ate some onion stalks also which I thought was weird.

Some were knocked flat and out of the ground also.

In other gardening disasters my green beans (blue lake) have terrible germination.

I had to lay fence over the rows to prevent wild rabbits from eating the few that popped out.

Replant, replant, replant...

My 2020 gardening motto I suppose.

This is NOT a wild bunny though.

Miss A loves her Easter bunny.

This is second one as her cousins lab made off with the first as a snack.

Her Mama's Mother's Day gift was ferns .

Within first week she had a nest and now there are 5 eggs.

Not shown as Mama bird is protective as expected.

I for the life of me can not upload videos on Blogger.

Any help or ideas would be appreciated.

Miss A was helping R walk and wash her hogs and it was cute lil 8 sec video.

Take my word on it I guess.